The Singletarians: Rediscovering Joy, One Friendship at a Time
The Singletarians is a social group that “knows how to have fun,” and through their planned activities, members build friendships and lasting relationships.
When I joined the Singletarians, I had been a widow for two and a half years. I was lonely, bored, and scared. I thought that this was it—my enjoyment of life and excitement was over since my husband was gone and I was alone. I have family in Tucson, and they are great, but they work and have their friends and their own activities. They always included me, but it was not what I wanted my life to be.
I met a lady at the restaurant where I ate breakfast, and after several polite conversations, she asked if I was alone. I talked to her about my situation, and she said, “You are just like I used to be.”
I asked, “What changed?”
She told me she went out to dinner, went to movies, went dancing—all kinds of things to have fun. All the types of social activities I was really missing because it is no fun to go alone.
She had joined a social club for single seniors that has been around for several years. I thought, “I could never do that!”
Well, she convinced me to meet her at a social hour. She suggested I drive myself so if I was uncomfortable, I could leave. I agreed (and sorry to say, canceled several times before I finally made it).
My new friend never gave up on me, and finally, I met her at a restaurant. There were about 20 seniors there, and she introduced me. I was so shy that I just smiled and watched.
They were laughing, smiling, and talking, and really enjoying themselves. But I thought they all knew each other, so it was easy. I did stay about 2 hours, and they tried to get me to join in, but I just sat there.
I did not go back for a couple of months. It was May 13, which would have been my 45th wedding anniversary, and I was really depressed. I heard myself say, “I can go to the cemetery and cry all day or I can do something else.”
I opted for the something else. I found the calendar and newsletter the Singletarians had sent me, and there was a luncheon scheduled for that afternoon.
I said, “I can do this,” and I did.
That event and those people changed my life. I talked and listened and wanted what they had. I learned some had been in the group several years, others a few months, and two for a couple of weeks.
I was nervous and uncomfortable for a short time and then just joined the conversation—and have not quit talking for almost 3 years. These were people my age who had lived through many of the same things I did. They had overcome their fear and loneliness. Now I am one of them and do all I can to encourage other single men and women in our situation to do the same.
I have several close friends in the club, and we are always there for each other. One of the ladies had a boyfriend, and they had been together over 20 years and did everything together. He died around the holidays, and her Singletarian friends were there for her and still are. She told me she has no children or family in town, and they got her through the hard times, cooked food for her, and made visits to her when she thought she could no longer manage the pain of her loss. That kind of friendship is priceless.
The Singletarians work for all who are willing to work at being involved. The calendar has 10 to 20 events and social activities each month in all areas of Tucson. Interested singles can pick and choose whatever they want.
Give it a chance. I did, and I thank God I did.
Call June Mueller at 520-326-9174 for a free newsletter and calendar.